Actual Existence
by Anesta Kitachi
Summary: Roxas made a promise and he'd forever keep it. However, he didn't think he'd be able to fulfill it. AkuRoku


Warning: Mild shoujin-ai. Don't like it? There's a back button on your screen. Use it.

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and everything associated with it is copyright of Square Enix.

This fic has been edited by the lovely Rin.

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**Actual Existence**

_(one shot)_

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"Let's meet again, in the next life."

"Yeah, I'll be waiting."

"Silly, just because you have a next life."

...

"I wanted to see Roxas. He was...the only one I liked. He made me feel, like I had a heart."

...

Those words, those scenes played through his head, over and over like a broken record. Those were memories of, not this life, but a past one. One filled with adventure, sadness, and an all around fantasy-like existence. He scoffed at that last thought. In his past life, he had no existence.

He was...a nobody.

Now, he was somebody. He had a heart all his own. A life that wasn't created just because his other was a heartless for a short amount of time. He had an existence. Those memories of the life he lived in and out of Sora only revealed themselves out of the strength of his heart. So he could remember someone he had left behind. Someone he watched fade away into darkness. Someone that made him feel.

Roxas glanced at his surroundings. He was on a train heading towards the beaches of Twilight Town. He would stand by the vast waters with the beautiful sunset shining in his hair. The clock tower still was seen in the distance, he avoided it at all costs. It was still standing, but the clock no longer rang out every hour, and he no longer sat on the edge with the thrill of dangling over nothing. They sat there in their past life, overlooking the sunset of the beautiful town.

Eating sea-salt ice cream.

Saying goodbye.

School would start soon; his summer vacation was almost over. His twin, Sora, hadn't wanted him to leave knowing he still had school work to accomplish, but Roxas left anyway, much to his twin's dismay. It was funny. In this life, Sora was his twin. In the last life, he WAS Sora. This thought always baffled him. Sora, however, had no memories of the life before. He had no memories of the keyblade, of the creation that was Number XIII, of...Axel. But Roxas did, and he kept them to himself. Sora didn't need to hear it. This life, for Sora, was the best he could hope for, after being the hero of his past life.

The bell rang and the train came to a stop, but Roxas simply stayed in his seat. His expression was blank, blue eyes shining gloriously without his realization. He had always been quiet, but lately, since his memories had returned to him, his silence had been overwhelming. Would Axel keep his promise? Would he meet him again in this life? Axel, he never found his other. There was never one to find. Axel had faded into darkness and wouldn't return to this world, Roxas knew. Still, he kept his long made promise.

He was waiting.

Finally, the train started again, on its way to the station by the beaches and Roxas watched as the town faded away and the waters came into view. His cell phone rang out annoyingly and he rolled his eyes. Who now? Probably Sora. He picked the plastic device out of his pants pocket and flipped it open.

"Roxas."

"It's me."

"Who? Listen, I don't know how you go--"

"From Sora."

"Why? Do I even know you?"

There was silence and Roxas was starting to get annoyed. He looked at the cell's caller ID. It stated an unknown number. Growing frustrated, he put the phone back to his ear.

"I'm hanging up." The person on the other end's breath hitched with panic.

"N-no! Wait! Roxas!"

"How do you know my name? Who are you?" He practically yelled into the phone. This was creepy. No way would Sora give his number to some stranger that Roxas didn't even know.

"Will you keep your promise?" Came the almost inaudible voice from the phone. Roxas furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Promise? What promise?"

"Let's meet again, in this life. Roxas. I'm waiting, are you?"

A click.

Beeping.

He had hung up.

Roxas didn't notice, he was speechless. An uncharacteristic dumbfounded look crossed his face. No one knew about that promise but...

"Axel." He whispered.

Quickly, he tried to call back the number, but the phone must have been turned off. No one answered that he cared for.? The automated message was quickly cut off when Roxas closed his phone in frustration. Someone was playing a joke. But, who would know enough to be able to play one like this? It wasn't as if he told anyone about his past life, his past self, or any of the promises he made.

But...what if this was true?

Roxas sighed. There was only one way to find out.

At the next stop, Roxas exited the train. However, instead of spending the day with the waves against his legs, he boarded the next train back home.

...

Roxas glanced up. The clock tower and all it represented was high above him. From the ground, he saw nothing, no one. He must have been a total idiot to even believe that Axel could exist in another life. However, the thought that he might overwhelmed him. It was worth a try. It was worth anything. If Axel wasn't there, where he knew the fiery red-head would be waiting, then he'd accept that someone knew and was simply making fun of him. He wouldn't give up, of course not; he'd continue to wait just as he promised.

He would wait forever. In this life, or the next life. In every life he possibly had, until he fulfilled his promise or he simply ran out of lives.

Taking a long, excruciating breath, Roxas pushed the door to the clock tower open. The stairs were rusted and rickety with age, and Roxas had a hard time taking the first couple steps. But, the prize he hoped for at the end was far too great for the stairs to sway him. He tried to disregard the squeaking that the worn metal made every time Roxas took a step, but found that to be rather difficult.

He held two, delicious sea-salt ice creams placed safely in his pocket. He simply hoped they wouldn't melt before he reached the top. Surprisingly, he made it. Both before the ice cream became a puddle of goo in his pocket and before he fell to his death on the old worn stairs.

Slowly, he opened the door to the spot of his memories, taking slow and shallow breaths with every inch. As the door widened, he could see the eye-catching sunset over the buildings of Twilight Town. The door hit the wall behind it and Roxas stepped through, making his way slowly to the edge of the clock tower. He looked out over the edge before sitting as he had done with Axel in his past life, with his friends later on in that same life, and as he always wanted to in this life.

Roxas didn't seem fazed when he didn't see the alarming red hair, but inside, he was disappointed. Who wouldn't be? He'd been played with and now all he wanted to know was, by who?

Taking in the sunset, he stilled himself and waited. He was mildly surprised when no ring came from the clock.

"That's right. It died years ago." He sighed again, pulling a soft sea-salt ice cream from his pocket. He unwrapped the savory treat and slowly licked the already melting ice cream bar.

"Have one for me?"

Roxas froze. Drops of sticky goo ran over his fingers as he took in the voice behind him. He really was crazy. Now he was actually hearing his voice. Roxas was too afraid to turn around, but slowly he forced himself to.

Those red locks of hair were as spiky as they were the last time he'd seen him. Condescending smirk and tattoos were all in place. Roxas's heart skipped a beat.

"Axel."

He smirked.

"Good to see you too, Roxas. It's been a while." He stated, arms crossed. He was leaning against the wall behind Roxas's form.

"How are you...?"

"Dunno." Axel shrugged and uncrossed him arms, making his way to the edge. He sat down beside Roxas, one foot propped on the ledge, the other dangling freely in the air. Roxas was stunned, the memory of the last time they'd sat like this making its way to the front of his mind. "I think, maybe, because you're in this life."

It took Roxas a moment to realize that Axel had spoken again and when he did, he simply nodded his understanding. Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out the half melted sea-salt ice cream bar and Axel took it, smiling softly for a moment.

"You remembered." He said. Roxas nodded.

"I didn't think you'd get a next life."

"I didn't either, but here we are." Axel replied laughing. Roxas smirked.

"How did you get Sora to give you my number?"

"I told him my name."

"But...Sora doesn't remember." Roxas sighed, looking out toward the almost invisible sun. The light was fading, but the sun gave one last rush of color. Purples, blues, reds, yellows. Twilight Town still lived up to its name, Roxas noted.

"He does."

"Oh." Roxas glanced down at his already melted ice-cream, sticking the small portion of what was left in his mouth. Swallowing lightly, he glanced over at Axel. "He didn't tell me."

Axel shrugged. "Not my problem."

"I waited, you know."

"I know."

"Now what?" Roxas asked, slowly getting to his feet.

"We have life ahead of us. We'll do what we want." Axel replied, glancing up at his company. "The question is, Roxas, what do you want?"

The question ran though Roxas's mind as he regarded Axel silently. A smirk was on the face of his companion, fire-red hair shining lightly in the dull light of the sun. Roxas sighed and slowly turned to leave.

He made it to the door and turned back to a frowning Axel. A smirk crossed his lips at the actual sadness in Axel's face. It wasn't feigned. It was real. They had hearts, emotions, they...exited. This was true life. He wanted...

"Are you coming or what?" He asked with an exasperated tone, rolling his eyes. Axel's expression became happy as he quickly got to his feet and stalked over to Roxas. They gazed at each other. Emerald meeting sky blue. Roxas's hand tangling in Axels shirt, pulling him down.

Lips met. Breaths mingled.

It was sweet and innocent, lasting only a few moments, but it was enough. For now at least. They had their whole existence to enjoy it.

Roxas sighed and rolled his eyes at the knowing look that Axel had. Inside, however, he was smiling. Taking a hold of Axel's hand, he lead him down those dangerous stairs. This time though, he wasn't afraid.

He had waited.

He was rewarded.

They had met again and Roxas was happy. Though, he wouldn't tell Axel out loud until much, much later.

"Roxas?"

"Yeah?" He replied, still engrossed with his own thoughts. But at Axel's silent question, he turned his attention to the red-head.

"You still make me feel as if I have a heart."

Roxas laughed and Axel smirked. It was the dumbest thing to say, because this time, they really did have hearts. Though, they both knew the meaning of those words and they would forever mean the world to them.

Existence or no existence.

Hearts or no hearts.

Their paths were entwined and forever will be. Roxas smiled. He could live with that.

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AN: It's so very cliché, but I just had to do it. xD I love my AkuRoku. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the fic and I'll see you around next time!


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